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Joke of the Day

"I always go the extra mile, which is why my friends don't let me drive"

"How do you get two rednecks to play Banjo in unison? Shoot the first one."

"My tablet burned me today after I installed Tinder on my Kindle Fire."

"You know it's cold outside when you go outside and trip over dog poop instead of stepping in it."

"Picking up women in bars is like picking up Avocadoes in a supermarket... You have no idea how damaged they are until you get them home."

"If you're paddling a canoe up a river and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones."

"*kisses new boss on lips as I say goodbye at the end of my first day*"

"Why didn't the homophobe decorate his house for Halloween? Because his skeleton was in the closet"

"I don't drink about you anymore."

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."