193344
Joke of the Day
"Internet Explorer"
Next Joke
"[at home on video conference call] Yeah boss I don't know why I keep dropping. Maybe my connection is bad. *pauses Netflix on 2nd monitor*"
"Ya know, my dick was in the Guinness Book of World Records once... Wasn't for very long though. Librarian told me to put the book down and get the fuck out before she called the cops."
"How did Trump describe his trip to the bathroom? It was a movement like the world has never seen before."
"me on my first date: ""for me to continue this relationship you need to choose correctly"" [i pull a frog & a lizard out of my pocket]"
"Ferguson, MO In the after hours bars where the cops in Ferguson hang out, the most popular tipple is a 'Jim Crow': that's a shot of Jim Beam, and a shot of Old Crow - served separate, but equal."
"Give a man a fish, where's he supposed to put it? Get away from him you weirdo."
"Halloween is the perfect time to trick people into believing you aren't really going to use that ice pick you're carrying around."
"Me: Guess what Her: What Me: The opposite of Aquaman Her: ... Me: Is Landlady Her: ... Me: ... Her: Your rent is still due tomorrow Me: Ok"
"Cauliflower is just broccoli ghosts."