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Joke of the Day

"Why do girls have to get periods? Why can't Mother Nature just text us and be all like ""yo bitch, you ain't pregnant. Catch ya next month homegirl""."

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? ""How do you breath through something so small?"""

"hi, grandma? can u come pick me up from my rap battle? it's over. no, i lost. he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it"

"I heard that the president was poisoned, then cured. But the information is purely antidotal."

"Why is paper money more valuable than coins? When you put it in your pocket you double it and when you take it out you find it in creases. -"

"You know you're old when... ...what were we talking about?"

"Oh really well you thought four inches was HUGE when we were talking about spiders."

"Symptoms of mental illness: -Hearing voices -Hallucinating -Complaining about how other people use their social media accounts"

"What is the difference between your wife and your job? After ten years your job still sucks"

"I'm making a list of reasons to move to Switzerland The flag is a big plus"