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Joke of the Day

"I should really stop writing ""lol"" after ""exercise"" on my to do lists."

"I'm so terrible at Chess. The only way I'll ever get to say ""Checkmate"" is if I eat at a restaurant in Australia."

"Confucius say... Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day."

"Once I had completed my final exam, my professor told me to turn it in to one of the teaching assistants. Good thing I have been practicing my origami."

"[first day as a doctor] You seem depressed. Also you look underweight, how's your diet? [nurse interrupts me] ""Dr that's the model skeleton"""

"What do you get when you subtract the date and time that Tony Stark built an AI from the current date and time? The Age Of Ultron."

"How long did it take Goku to change a lightbulb? 20 Episodes and Krillin dies."

"Why shouldn't you make fun of a paleontologist? Because you will get Jurasskicked."

"The police are taking me downtown for an interview and I didn't even apply for the job."

"I liked you better before we met."