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Joke of the Day

"Non-Americans won't get this. Obesity"

"Why do Jews have blue penises? Because they're tight-fisted wankers."

"*checks pockets for phone 53 times before jumping in pool* *skinny dips to be on the safe side*"

"Joke my dad loved What's the last thing each tickle-me-elmo doll gets before leaving the factory? Two test tickles"

"I try and avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they're in the middle of a race."

"Someone bought Scrooge a clock for Christmas. He put it straight in the bank. Why did he do that? He was trying to save time!"

"What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle!"

"I really respect Donald Trump's campaign He's doing so much to help raise awareness for autism."

"What is the difference between a pizza and a black guy? A pizza can feed a family of four!"

"What dog breed do Jewish pet owners desire most? A Golden Retriever"