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Joke of the Day

"I try and avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they're in the middle of a race."

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"Why do they call it the XBOX 360? Because you turn 360 and walk away!!"
"Breaking News: Playboy to eliminate nude pictures from their magazine. ""What's a magazine?"" asked every guy under 30."
"my wife is so ungrateful for christmas I got her an electric chair and she won't even sit in it."
"So I was walking past my local supermarket the other day and a man started to throw cheese, butter and milk at me. How dairy."
"""Ah, OK. Yes. Now I see it."" -Me lying to someone who's pointing out a constellation"
"A man called Knock Knock knocks on a door: Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? ..."
"Why did Arnold show up at the rodent infested house? Because he is an ex-Terminator."
"I like my money like I like my women... Under the table."
"I wonder if this whole Ebola thing is going to go viral Thoughts?"
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