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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a thieving duck? A robber duck...."

"Why are divorces so expensive? Because they're worth it."

"Did you know Elvis once worked at a dry cleaners? He specialized in treating denim. In particular, Elvis pressed Lees."

"How do you get your girlfriend to fart? Pull out"

"What is the bibliophile's favorite website? Reddit! Courtesy of my 32 year old boyfriend. He cracks himself up."

"Cop: do you know why I pulled u over? Me: yeah, I was going like 120 back there Cop:.... Me:.. Cop: sir, your tailamp is out Me:..."

"I drank too much over the holidays. I was at the doctor's yesterday and gave a urine sample. It had an olive in it."

"Why did God create black men? So fat white girls could dance (and get laid)."

"Life is what happens between Apple product releases."

"Did you hear about the man who got the left side of his body blown up? he's all right"