192742

Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the Italian chef get into his restaurant? Gnocchi."

"""Grandma why don't you drink tea anymore?"" ""I don't like it ever since that tea bag got stuck in my throat."""

"My fake mustache fell off in Home Depot and now they won't let me touch any of the power tools."

"[Dumbledore gets hit with Avada Kedavra] HOUSE MD: I think he had lupus."

"What falls faster from a tree, a leaf or an Emo? The leaf, the Emo is too depressed to go outside. I saw this joke reposted so many times. I figured I'd mix it up a bit."

"What do you call Whoopi Goldberg after sex? A Whoopi pie."

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb? Apparently more than 5, because my basement is still dark."

"My life is a constant cycle of waiting until the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes."

"Sure Charlie got himself a Chocolate Factory, but his grandparents got to stay in bed for 20 years so ask yourself who were the real winners"

"How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose? 2 calves, an ass, a beaver, a camel toe, a bunch of hares and a fish no one can find."