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Joke of the Day

"Why Twitter deleted so many terrorist accounts recently? Otherwise they'd kill all the 140 characters."

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"What does a stripper do to her asshole before work? She drops him off at band practice."
"The weather in New England meant they had to delay the victory parade for the Patriots. They must feel really deflated."
"Two deer walk out of a bar... One deer says to the other, ""man I can't believe I blew 30 bucks in there"
"New Years Resolution My New Years Resolution is to try 100 brand new things. How many chemicals are crack? Lets get this done in one sitting."
"Everyone is worried Trump will pull us out of The Paris Accord... But Trump doesn't know how to pull out, that is why he has 10 kids."
"Surprise a beautiful person today by disagreeing with them."
"What's the difference between oral and rectal thermometers? The taste."
"Q: Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses? A: So they don't disgrace themselves in parades."
"What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck"
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