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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a priest and acne... What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne waits until you're 14 to come on your face."

"When I die I want my body donated to science Specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead people back to life."

"My face is very symmetrical...over the x-axis :("

"LUCY: Dad, how did I get my name? [flashback] ME (signing contract in blood): Ok but can we at least shorten it? LUCIFER: That's fine"

"""It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside"" ME: Oh thank god ""It's who you are on the inside"" ME: Dang"

"In People's Republic of Korea... Dog eat you!"

"I took my girlfriend to a baseball game. I kissed her between every strike.... and she kissed me between the balls."

"Church: Follow Jesus. Me: Does he follow back? Church: .. Me: .. Church: .. Me: Shoutout for shoutout??"

"If the conversation gets too serious take your pants off."

"The word ""Diputseromneve"" may look ridiculous, but backward it's even more stupid..."