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Joke of the Day

"FBI: I can't unlock my phone Genius: is that a fake mustache over your mustache? FBI into earpiece: Operation Twostache has been compromised"

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"Hillary Clinton could be become our first F president. I'd say female, but she lost the email."
"My marriage counselor asked me to think of something me and my wife have in common.... I said, ""Well, we both refuse to suck dick."""
"What do you call a Chinese man allergic to dogs? Starving."
"What do you call a joke with no punchline?"
"What do you call a Latino woman with no legs? Consuelo^(cunts-way-low)."
"Tweets are like your children: you love them all at first, you never know how they'll age, and most of them you regret creating."
"I just had my tubes tied, and now I'm........inconceivable."
"A werewolf is chasing you. Your life flashes before your eyes: crappy jobs, breakups, Ren fairs. The werewolf gets depressed and goes home."
"In ""Come As You Are"", Kurt Cobain kept repeating ""And I swear that I don't have a gun""... ...he lied."
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