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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between your mom and a drug dealer? Your mom can wash her crack and re-sell it."

"What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno business"

"Where does David Cameron keep his hidden money? In the Piggy bank"

"My new washing machine plays a tune very similar to an ice cream truck when it's finished. There's no ice cream in there. I checked. Twice."

"How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb? None. In Russia, light bulb changes you."

"Teacher told me to give her eye contact when I speak with her. So i jabbed my finger in her eye to touch it."

"What do you say when you are trying to comfort a grammar nazi? There, their, they're"

"To follow up on the Java/C# joke... Q: Why did the Java Developer quit his job? A: Because he didn't get arrays."

"I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team. But then I learned they don't cross the country and are back home in a few hours."

"[Phone rings] Babysitter: Hello? Dude: Dont. Go. Upstairs. Babysitter: Wha.. What's upstairs? Dude: NOT MUCH, STAIRS, WHAT'S UP WITH YOU"