192524
Joke of the Day
"[slowly rises from trashcan while 2 friends are making plans without me] i am also free that day."
Next Joke
"This youth group broke the number one cardinal rule of making money at a Car Wash. They let the fat chick hold the car wash sign."
"My doctor told me I needed to see a rheumatologist... I told him that's a strange way to say interior designer."
"I am so old I need a selfie stick to read my own phone."
"I like to sneak into people's houses and masturbate in their livingroom. ...so far no ones heard me cumming."
"wife: ""just break it to him gently"" me: ""ok ill try"" [tucking son in bed] me: [opening story book] ""once upon a time your grandma's dead"""
"Eating pussy is like subway eat fresh."
"Why do married men love golf so much? Because it's not the same three holes over and over again."
"Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman"
"What does the baker turned counterfeiter say? ""I make my own dough"". My sister Katie came up with this one."