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Joke of the Day

"In-laws are like hemorrhoids... .... When they come down and go back up it's ok, but when they stay down that's when it's a pain in the ass..."

"How do Baroque composers tweet? Through their twitter Handel! ..... I am so sorry"

"Knock knock Who's there? Control Freak. Now you say ""Control Freak who?"""

"What kind of charge did the Couch place against the Recliner? Sectional assualt."

"What did the ship say to the sexy ice-berg? I'd hit that."

"What do you call a man with his hand up a horse's ass? An Amish mechanic."

"How to sound authentically Irish when bewildered, befuddled, confounded, or just generally in a tizzy. Say this phrase: Whale oil beef hooked."

"My ex is like Hurricane Katrina... She fucked New Orleans too."

"A certain little boy had been spanked by his father one morning. When his dad came in from the office that evening the boy called out sulkily ' Mum ! your husband's just come home.'"

"My kids keep bugging me about dinner even after I told them I already ate..."