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Joke of the Day

"When does Eminem leave school? Aftermath"

"Why did the dry cleaners get shut down? The owner was arrested for money laundry-ing"

"If at first you don't succeed... ...keep on sucking until you suck seed."

"It's raining I'm pouring. Chick at the bar is whoring. We went to bed, she gave me head. Who says conventions are boring?"

"No, I haven't lost weight but ""spanx"" for asking."

"Must thank Matthew Broderick for overcoming my fear of sex after pregnancy. He reminded me that sometimes you just have to get back on the horse."

"You can catch a decent buzz from smoking catnip but don't be surprised if you wake up on top of the fridge."

"What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He wipes his ass"

"What's the difference between an Onion and a Whore? I don't cry when I chop up a Whore."

"The most important thing about telling a joke is timing"