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Joke of the Day

"What's the name of that German guy that keeps hiding my stuff around the house? Alzheimer, Grandma."

"Ughh so pissed off. My mail order bride is pretending she doesn't speak english just so she doesn't have to wear the jester outfit again."

"How does father Christmas get away with suing everyone? The Santa Clause"

"Fill the pinata with goat intestines to teach children about the brutal consequences of violence."

"How do you tell if you have a high sperm count. She chews before she swallows."

"I asked my girlfriend if she could get me a newspaper ""Don`t be silly"", she replied, ""you can borrow my ipad"". That fly never knew what hit it."

"Where do young cantaloupes go in the summer? John Cougar's Melon Camp"

"NSFW. What do you get when you mix a rooster with peanut butter? A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth."

"The rats outside my apartment building are getting very bold. One of them just asked me for my number."

"What is something that cannot lift off the ground? Your career"