222066

Joke of the Day

"How do you kill a guy with a coconut allergy? You put a bounty on his head."

"My husband is going to be so surprised when he finds out the woman I've been sleeping with is way hotter than his girlfriend."

"Please don't ask me if I like your new haircut, because I don't and now you made me lie."

"""But mom! I don't like grandma."" ""Keep quiet, son, and finish your plate."""

"Where does a dog get a new tail? At the Retail Store"

"Just bought a thesaurus at the store and brought it home to find out the pages are all blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am."

"I started working on my 2nd million this year... Gave up on the first..."

"So I broke my Nokia today."

"I was confronted by an angry man today. I told him I come in peace Apparently that's something you shouldn't say to Peace's boyfriend"

"If I were a homeless guy, I'd walk up behind young women, put my arm around them & cop a feel on a boob because I have nothing to lose."