191951

Joke of the Day

"Special Hand Job on Olympic Getting a hand job from a chick is like watching the special Olympics... You keep cheering them on but deep down inside you know you can do better..."

"Where did the Candian pirate live? Ont**ARR**io"

"What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was the wall."

"Why are ducks always sad? Because of their bills"

"My friend and I were playing 'biggest number', and for my number I simply multiplied his number by itself. I won fair and square."

"I want to go back in time... And change the way the letter 'eight' is pronounced to sodomized. Then in the future ask people why was nine afraid of seven?"

"Did you know that all Bicyclists are colorblind? Cause they can't tell Green from Red!"

"What's the worst part about being a beaver? It's a lot of dam work."

"Someone asked me today where I'll be in 5 years... Seriously? I'm wearing glasses, you know I don't have 2020 vision."

"What did the Challenger Austronaut day to his wife before he left? ""You feed the kids, I'll feed the fishes."""