191902

Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone who tortures you to death with boring wordplay and double entendres? PUNisher"

"I have a plan. I bring him home ,but don't sleep with him. Long story short he pays for the taxi."

"""The Spoon"" Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. . Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink."

"If I got $1 every time a woman said I was't her type, I'd be her type."

"Super joke! Leaps over your head in a single bound! Which is impressive, considering it's always in the clouds..."

"What did the annoyed husband tell his wife after she saw elk falling from the sky? *Sigh* That's not elk... That's just reindeer."

"Ive decided to run a marathon for charity. I didn't want to do it at first, but apparently it's for blind and disabled kids so I think I've got a good chance of winning."

"The best underwear jokes.... are brief."

"A man is following the Oregon Trail. He meets a man named Terry... ""Terry? What a stupid name!"" Terry killed him. He died from dissin' Terry."

"What do you call Samsung store security guards? Guardians of the Galaxy."