191820

Joke of the Day

"I don't understand why people get excited about carbon dating. But then perhaps I just haven't met the right pencil."

"Why did the naughty child not get electrocuted when he stuck a fork in the socket? Because he was grounded! (I'll see myself out)"

"Ebay is way to hard to use I searched for lighters, and all I got was 71,274 matches."

"Where can you drown a hipster? In the mainstream."

"I'm at an age where ""getting lucky"" only means I have the house to myself..."

"Why are books the only thing advertised as ""Wherever books are sold."" You can't sell other stuff by saying ""Wherever you get this shit, IDK"""

"What do you call an Irish bodyguard? Liam Malone."

"Me and my wife are like Catdog... Inseparable since birth."

"Today's kids play TSA agent instead of doctor."

"[after i confess to murder] COP: sarge? you gotta see this [shows interrogation video and sees my fingers crossed the whole time]"