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Joke of the Day

"What starts with a 'C', contains the letters U, N, and T, is hairy on the outside, and soft on the inside? A coconut!"

"What do vegan zombies eat? GRAAAIIINSSS!"

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a light bulb? YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW, YOU WASN'T THERE!"

"I lost my mood ring last night... I don't know how I feel about this."

"How did the redneck find the sheep in the tall grass Satisfying"

"My Somalian friend asked me the other day... If I had ever tried Somalian food. ""No, I've never had any,"" I said. ""That's all right,"" he said, ""neither have Somalians."""

"100,000 Americans signed a petition to have Justin Bieber deported back to Canada. 8 million Canadians signed a petition to prevent this."

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat the room because it's black."

"Me: he's cute, how old is he? Guy: 25 months Me: first kid? Guy: yeah, how'd you know? Me: because you didn't say ""he's 2"""

"So today I met a guy who went to high school with OJ Simpson. I asked him what OJ was like back then. He was quite the lady-killer apparently"