191506

Joke of the Day

"FITNESS COACH: Have u been reaching your target heart rate each morning *Flashback to me replacing the snooze button with an airhorn* ""yes"""

"How do trains from different countries understand each other? With a trainslator"

"What's all white and can't fly? Harrison Ford"

"There are four states of matter: Solid, liquid, gas, and black lives."

"I just gave my cat a bath. Your move Satan."

"A guy with a gun enters a bar... ""Who the fuck had sex with my wife?"" He snarled. A voice was heard in the background, ""You don't have enough bullets mate!"""

"It's getting harder and harder to find vodka-flavored vodka."

"In N Out Describes my visit to the Vatican City"

"My wife and I decided we don't want children... ...if anybody does, we can drop them off tomorrow."

"I bought a new boomerang... and went damn near crazy trying to throw the old one away!"