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Joke of the Day

"People in Arab nations are still wondering what all the western world hub bub about hump day and camel toe is about."

"Please join me. My daughter an I did this for hours one day. Zombie phlebotomist, veinnnnns. Zombie engineer, traaaaiiins. Zombie Dixie Chicks fan, Natalie Maiiiinns."

"I'm addicted to poverty If my bank account has money in it I suffer withdrawal."

"I finally got a housekeeper. it's my ex-wife. She kept the house."

"What's the bare minimum? One bear."

"Cashier: ""Sir, the toilet paper you're buying goes on sale tomorrow."" ""COOL, I'LL CHECK WITH MY FAMILY TO SEE IF THEY CAN HOLD IT IN."""

"I consider it a personal victory everytime that I don't ask a person wearing a leg cast if they've broken their leg."

"Steve Irwin lived the same way he died... With animals in his heart."

"Reddit's turning into 1980's America Mass privatization, and everyone is blaming the Chinese."

"Apparently when your wife asks you to get your toddler off your bed she doesn't mean knock him off with a pillow"