191412

Joke of the Day

"What do you say when a corrupt Soviet takes a bathroom break right before war? Now you're just Stallin."

"THEM: I have a story about that person. Someday when I'm drunk enough, I'll tell you. ME: [pulls bottle of wine from purse] Let's do this."

"Went to a meeting for cat addicts last night. More nuns than I expected."

"What should we call this portable computer? SOME GUY: Laptop [everyone applauds...w/ tears in my eyes i crumple a paper that says Kneeputer]"

"Her: I'm thinking of a number between 1 an- Me: 69! Her: ...10. Me: Her: Me: 6.9?"

"Do you know why Petyr's last name is Baelish? Because he is the liege of Baes. ^I'll ^see ^^myself ^^out."

"A Jewish kid.... asks his dad for ten dollars. His dad replies, ""Eight dollars? What do you need five dollars for?"""

"America's immigration problems are over. Who'd want to live here?"

"Why did the blonde run out of shampoo? She kept following the instructions: lather rinse repeat!"

"Dear Oral-B You forget the J"