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Joke of the Day

"My local newspaper ran a pun writing contest I entered my ten best puns hoping one would win, sadly no pun in ten did"

"SCIENTIST: Behold The self-esteem powered car! Come take it for a drive ME: uh okay *gets in* [CAR JUST LITERALLY FALLS APART]"

"where does noah keep his bees? in the ark hives."

"What do you call a Romanian grocery clerk? Scanthesku"

"YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET"

"Why don't Greek people need sex? The government fucks them everyday!"

"Cans I work in a can recycling factory. My job is to crush cans. I don't enjoy it. It's soda pressing."

"Normally I find Ted Cruz's message to be more off point But last night he proved to be undoubtedly a more-on candidate and a moving speaker"

"Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club Thank you all for coming."

"Unicorns have one horn and everyone says ""ooh they're so magical"" Cow's have 2 horns & no one cares even though they taste so much better"