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Joke of the Day

"i wonder what it's like to be the pizzagate gun guy and discover that your former comrades now believe that you're a crisis actor"

"What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste. I always use this joke when going to Dr's, or any medical situation. It never fails to get a great laugh."

"I invented a new word It's called plagiarism."

"What do you get when you cross The Atlantic with The Titanic? About halfway."

"With a calendar, your days are numbered."

"Helium walks into a bar, the bartender says ""we don't serve noble gasses here""... helium doesn't react."

"""Favorite"" seems like a strong word. There should be a button that's more just ""Hey, fun Tweet. This is fun. We're having fun."""

"How to win the war on drugs 1) legalize all drugs. 2) require that all drugs be purchased through Comcast customer service."

"Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my fuckin' dick!"

"What's the famous Confederacy battle cry? We Surrender!"