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Joke of the Day

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number; you've probably never heard of it."

Next Joke
 
"My phone just autocorrected mornin to Mormon and now it won't stop making macaroni pictures and having sex with multiple phone wives."
"Me: smells like upyou'refreetogo in here. Cop: what's upyou'refreetogo? Me: *finger guns* catch ya later Cop: aww damn lol got me again"
"Squirrels are like cigarettes. They are completely harmless until you stick one in your mouth and light them on fire."
"It's only Wednesday and I'm already 94% done with this week."
"What did A and B look for at the beach? A ""C"" gull!"
"Thanks for the Facebook invite to your wedding cheapass. Please enjoy this FarmVille mystery gift on the occasion of your marriage."
"[Me at job interview] And, how seriously does your company take allegations of witchcraft?"
"From now on, all of my posts will be written in Morgan Freeman's voice. Please re-read this one to make sure it's working."
"What's the Russian President's favorite song? ""Putin on the Ritz!"" I'll be here all week guys."