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Joke of the Day

"If I could have dinner with anyone alive or dead I would just have two dinners."

"I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come... Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left."

"69 is the kamikaze of sex. If I'm going down, you're coming with me."

"I wish my garden was emo... Why? So it will cut itself."

"My grandpa is just like a plant. If you don't feed him, he'll die. Plus, he's super quiet when he's in the room watching you have sex."

"September was the first calendar month no NFL players were arrested in six years. Kudos to their wives for being so well behaved last month."

"If you googled ""blood libel"" yesterday, you'd get a wikipedia link. Today you see Sarah Palin's face. I hope she says ""bukkake"" next."

"Waldo asked his wife what was for dinner... Fondue, waldo."

"Who did the crocodiles call when they found one of their own dead? The investiGATOR"

"I was caught after ditching a cab without paying... I was charged with Taxi Evasion."