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Joke of the Day

"I got kicked out of Monochromes Anonymous for using colourful language."

"Yay summer! *gets drunk outside* Yay winter! *gets drunk inside*"

"Why did the tennis player get thrown out of his workshop? He was making a racket."

"I went into Whole Foods tonight and yelled, ""Somebody's Labradoodle just jumped out of a parked Subaru!"" and everyone ran out."

"Scooters are like ... fat girls. They're fun to ride, but you wouldn't want your friends to see you on one."

"Children are like STD's you try hard not to get once you get them your life is ruined, your stuck with them and their a huge pain in the ass"

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile the other day. I thought, wow, that's a big word for an 8 year old."

"Under the sea, under the sea...wouldn't the water pressure crush mermaids, realistically?"

"Michael Bay has just recently announced the title of his next gritty reboot of a kids TV show: Ed, Edd, and Edgy"

"Why are chickens racist? They are all in the Coop Clucks Clan"