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Joke of the Day

"Scooters are like ... fat girls. They're fun to ride, but you wouldn't want your friends to see you on one."

"Give 100% in everything you do Except giving blood"

"What great song is associated with hamburgers and baseball? 'Steak Me Out to the Ballgame'!"

"Somewhere in a parallel universe, I hope there's a giant dog with a tiny woman in her purse."

"Apple bottom jeans... Boots with the fur... That's all you packed, Jessica? This is a camping trip. This is why we don't work as a couple."

"My girlfriend just dumped me because I she says I talk too much about video games... ...It's a horribl**e** thing to Fallout 4."

"Where do burgers like to dance? At a meatball!"

"A grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender looks up and shouts, ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" ""You have a drink called Steve?"""

"I am sure Freud invented autocorrect... because when you mean one thing,it autocorrects it to amother."

"I don't need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes"