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Joke of the Day

"Scooters are like ... fat girls. They're fun to ride, but you wouldn't want your friends to see you on one."

"What do you mean pi r square? Pies are round"

"What looks better... than roses your piano? Tulips on your organ."

"Last night I ate a full package of Cinncinati zoo Gosh, I must've spent hours in the bathroom."

"What kind of pants did the Japanese porn star wear to her job interview? Bu-khakis"

"In which sport does one white guy push around a bunch of colored guys? All of them!"

"#ThatAwkwardMoment when you pretend to read your birthday card after the money has fallen out."

"*stands on scanner at self checkout, weighing self after keying in mango code, just to see what net worth is in mangoes"

"Where do dogs go when they lose their tail? The retail store."

"Who burns their own city down? The people of Ferguson."