190723

Joke of the Day

"Me [31M] and my wife [28F] are having issues with our different needs with sex. We're trying to work out the kinks."

"What does the rude barista say to the customer in a coffee shop? I can't decide whether you are a fruitcake or a doughnut!"

"Internet, you've made a compelling argument. Sleep: present your case."

"This isn't working out. I think we should start making other people miserable."

"There's a new channel called DOG TV that offers 24 hours of programming to entertain dogs while their owners are gone. My dog doesn't want to watch TV I just got him an iPad."

"Arabs have invented a time machine It's called Islam. It takes any civilization back to the 7th century."

"Why don't you hit a Mexican kid who's riding a bike? Because it's probably your bike"

"Can't believe i actually met a guy named Dick Putinson"

"That awkward moment when you realize that the nursery rhyme never said that Humpty Dumpty was an egg..."

"A little boy asked his father, ""Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"" Father replied, ""I don't know son, I'm still paying."""