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Joke of the Day

"Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No but she sure could climb trees well!"

"Relationships are about compromise. I pretend she's not watching a Gossip Girl boxset. She pretends I'm not digging her grave in the garden."

"How is Donald Trump going to get rid of the Mexicans if elected? Pesticide"

"My 82 year old Grandpa's favorite joke A skeleton walks into a bar, sits down and says ""I'll have a beer and a mop"""

"I'll be Burger King and you be McDonald's. I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? [not the traditional punchline] Because 7 was a registered 6 offender."

"What's Bill Corby's favorite type of Jello? Grape. The ""G"" is silent. Just like his lovers. Edit: I can't edit the title, I suck at spelling -_- (and proofing)"

"Also, those little Swiss Army knives are great when you need a tiny pair of scissors to open your Gummi Bears like some kind of crack head."

"How is the world like a bag of jellybeans? Nobody likes the black ones."

"[cool person follows me] me: ok I gotta bring my A game now it's only good tweets from here me 5 mins later: horses r just big dogs ?"