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Joke of the Day

"How come I didn't get upset when the Indian restaurant got my order wrong? It was a Naan issue"

"If we've gone swimming together you can be certain that at some point you've swam through my pee"

"One of the most wonderful things in life is to wake up and enjoy a cuddle with somebody. At least, that's what my cell mate tells me."

"Where do babies come from? Well, when a man and a woman drink alcoholic beverages together..."

"[Office] Secretary: Mr. Grey will see you now. Anastasia Steele: I have a ridiculous name."

"Things I know I cannot do but still try to: 1. Cartwheel 2. Hit the high note 3. Move things with my mind 4. Eat 'just one' 5. Be Cool"

"Aren't dad jokes great? I got a bad sunburn a week ago, and my skin is staring to peel of.I guess you could say that it's.....appealing"

"What did the left pussy lip say to the right pussy lip? We used to be really tight until you let that dick come between us."

"Hey, Christianity- what's all the fuss about a virgin anyway? I could be a virgin if I wanted to. But I don't. Because sex. Also? More sex."

"Woody Allen's version of his life will be his most brilliant fiction."