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Joke of the Day

"I can ignore you so hard you will begin to doubt your own existence."

"What's the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

"Lesbian Couple A girl asked me what my view on lesbian couples was. Apparently ""in HD"" wasn't the right answer."

"What would Apple laptops be called if Steve Jobs had been Irish? McBook Eyre"

"What do you call 2 ducks who walk like, act like, and believe they are geese? A paradux"

"For tentative people there's no place like ""erm""."

"What type of sound system does a Saab have? A Saab-woofer :)"

"""Your name is Duck?"" It's Doug. ""Yeah. Duck"" Doug. ""Duck?"" DouGGG ""Got it. Duck"" Go fuGG yourself ""Haha. Classic Duck"""

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make your little girl cry! But if she's gonna have those ears, she's gonna need a sense of humor."

"Grandson told me his uncle abused him as an April fools prank. I don't know why he's so upset I didn't fall for it."