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Joke of the Day

"Tom Hanks is extremely polite... In fact, every time someone asks him for an autograph, he's the one that ends up saying ""T.Hanks"""

"I just did my own taxes for the first time and I'm glad I did because I'm getting 8 million dollars back this year!"

"Fun Fact: I love it when Americans whose Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Grandfather emigrated from Ireland say ""I'm Irish"". No."

"Diamond engagement rings are so last year. Ask for her hand in marriage by presenting her with a full tank of gas."

"My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"Helmholtz Resonators made out of Lampshades, Company name is Silence of the Lamps"

"- How much for the mobile tampon? - Ma'am? - It's a bit big. - Ma'am, it's a lamb. - Does it make that sound because it has detected blood?"

"Girls don't fart or poo That's why they are full of shit."

"I was verbally abused as a child. The bigger verbs at school would kick my ass. ""Stop conjugating yourself!"" they'd say mockingly."

"Why did they have to call Aquaman Aquaman Because they couldn't call him Seaman"