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Joke of the Day
"I just ate a breakfast of champions. There's. Blood. EVERYWHERE."
Next Joke
"What does a gay bird-keeper do for fun? He sucks a cockortwo!"
"What qualifies as a ""short stack"" of pancakes? I mean, 2.5 feet is relatively short, right? Yes? Okay cool. Then I just ate a short stack."
"There is too much freedom in this country, we need more expensive smart."
"Hate when I'm being chased by a shark and I make it to land, only to find out he's tied to the back of a tiger."
"Friend: Don't come on too strong is my dating tip. [At the restaurant] Her: Can you pass the salt, please? Me: Sorry, it's too heavy."
"Welcome to twitter, where nobody uses their right to remain silent."
"Cake day: How many scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Response: I don't know, I'm no scientist."
"What's the best thing about fucking twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of 'em!"
"What do you call a sleeping prisoner? Under a-rest."