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Joke of the Day

"Hate when I'm being chased by a shark and I make it to land, only to find out he's tied to the back of a tiger."

"What kind of vehicle swerved to miss a talking lizard in the road? Dodged-a-Rango"

"My music teacher was arrested for sticking his dick through a sheet of music Apparently, it's illegal to have sex with A minor"

"In every teen body-swap film there's that moment where they look in the mirror & are shocked to see an adult. That's my morning routine now."

"""Don't you play stupid with me!"" shouted my wife. ""Why would I play something I have no chance of winning?"" I replied."

"Have you heard of this new drug? The DEA just passed a new controversial drug to help treat lesbians with depression. It's called Tricoxagan."

"Why do aliens always disembark via ramp? Do they have problems with stairs? Or are flying saucers just handicap-accessible?"

"Told my 11 and 8 next time I take their electronics away I'd also be responding to all texts they receive.They've been well behaved since."

"What do you get when you cross the Queen of England and Prince Charles? Killed in a tunnel."

"What do you get when you have a great Dane, a Clydesdale, and a Prostitute? A huge dog and pony show"