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Joke of the Day

"Had to remove the seconds hand from my watch.. was really starting to tick me off"

"What TV station do bees watch ? Bee bee c one!"

"What's the difference between a liberal arts major and a pizza? The pizza can feed a family."

"Yo Mama so fat.. ..she walked past the TV and I missed 3 seasons!"

"Whoever wins the Oscar for Best Sound Mixer is gonna get so much sound mixing pussy it's not even funny."

"What kind of bee makes milk Boo-Bee"

"A redneck calles up the White House and tells the receptionist: ""I'd like to become the next President of the United States."" The receptionist: ""What are you an idiot?"" Redneck: ""Why is it required?"""

"Retweet this if you think they should make gallon sized Caprisuns and have it still be a squeezable.. Think about it."

"A preschooler refused to sleep during naptime... He was charged with resisting a rest"

"What shakes and sits at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck."