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Joke of the Day

"GREEN LIPSTICK Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick? A: Because red means stop."

"What do you call a fake enemy? A faux!"

"""You fancy my best friend, don't you?"" asked my wife. ""If given the choice..."" I replied, ""I'd rather have sex with you then her."" ""You mean 'than'."" ""No."""

"If it was the choice between having the last pizza on earth or the last sex on earth, which toppings would you have on your pizza."

"In my son's class they were talking about allergies, my son said ""My mom says she's allergic to most other moms"" Super"

"To err is human; to Air Bud is dog!!!!"

"My grocery store changed its whole layout. It was better the other way so I'm slowly and quietly moving everything back."

"95% of parenting is using your sock as a mop."

"Two men walk into a bar... You'd think the second one would've noticed"

"My dog does back-flips when the Raiders kick a field goal....... my buddy asked me what he does when they score a touch-down and I told him I didn't know, I've only had him for 6 years."