189911

Joke of the Day

"I'm giving up alcohol for a month. Wait sorry, that didn't come out right : I'm giving up. Alcohol for a month."

"What would aliens say if told that Earthlings shift clocks by an hour to fool themselves into thinking there's more sunlight"

"Why does it feel like time slows down during the day when you're at work and rapidly speeds up at night when you get home?"

"I don't like nosey peppers they get Jalapeno buisness"

"I just had to think to remember how to write a capital ""P"", so if anyone needs a tutor for their kid or anything, hit me up."

"I opened a company.... for guys with erectile dysfunction because I felt sorry for them. Now they all want a bloody raise."

"How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, let the bitch do the ironing in the dark."

"Interns think of God residents pray to God doctors talk to God nurses ARE God."

"How to equally divide a cake among five people with only three cuts Slice three people with your knife and ask the last, ""Do you also want a piece?"""

"What's the Pope's least favorite human bone? The blasphemur."