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Joke of the Day

"Harry potter is the story of a troubled kid.... ...dealing what what an older man did to him in his bedroom as a child."

"When you mount a gun rack above your desk, it's surprising how many PowerPoint presentations you simply don't have to see."

"The little bit of decent human being left in me finds cannibalism to be wrong... but who cares, he was delicious!"

"How do you give a quadriplegic a headache? Ask him to hold open the elevator door"

"knock knock ! Who's there ? The cops. The cops who ? ""I'm sorry to tell you m'am but your son has passed away."""

"What do you call a wall st. executive that sucks at his job and is obsessed with his ex girlfriend? A broke stalker!"

"If you're in college, what do you do when your flatmate has an epileptic seizure in the bathtub? ...throw in your dirty laundry."

"Picking up this tiny piece of paper would take 1 second, but instead I am going to run over 100 times with the vacuum at different angles."

"When I'm happy, I drink and when I drink, I'm happy. Win/win!!"

"Smiling is disencoursged in my country. It isn't illegal but it is frowned upon."