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Joke of the Day

"You know what was the biggest travesty to come out of the OJ Simpson Murder Trial? It made Kardashian a house-hold name."

"If zombies ever do attack, I'll just skip coffee that morning. They'll leave me alone because they'll think I'm one of them."

"*Dentist's waiting room* *Trying to make conversation with other patient* So... I guess you have teeth, too?"

"Everyone keeps saying Marry Christmas to me... I'm so confused. Who's this Christmas girl and why does everyone want me to marry her?"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick up your ass."

"So they're bringing in 100 fine for bad driving... How sexist is that? (via Jimmy Carr)"

"What did the cow say to her husband when he denied pooping in the living room? That's bullshit!"

"Weed is the answer... .. when your parents tells you to be the highest among the rest of the students in your class."

"What did hitler say on his cake day? YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN USING THE OVENS FOR THE FINAL SOLUTION!"

"What's an actuary? An accountant without the sense of humour."