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Joke of the Day

"Most days I wish I were an octopus so I could slap 8 people at once."

"The difference between my ""Maine lobster"" and my ""main lobster"" is boiling water or a high five."

"Parallel lines have so much in common.... it's a shame they're never gonna meet."

"I find the best way to deal with death is not to be the person who is dead."

"INTERVIEWER: under skills you've listed ""gets jokes"" ME: haha, very good. good one sir, haha"

"A friend of mine told me he gets terrible stage fright... ...I thought he was taking the piss but he really wasn't."

"Who knew in 1987 when Steven Tyler wrote ""Dude (Looks Like a Lady)"" that it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy?"

"Why couldn't Joe get to home? He was a Mets fan."

"What was Eve charged with after murdering Adam in the Garden? Being a first-person shooter"

"The Economic Breakfast by Roland Marge"