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Joke of the Day

"sorry, standing outside your house with a sign that says ""prom?"" was probably a confusing way to ask u what prom means"

"So I'm Calling random stores & saying ""Hey It's Michael, Screw you guys, I quit!"".... There's got to be a Michael at one of these places..."

"Why do women wear bras anyway? If you need something to hold your boobs, men are here."

"There are two things I hate in every politician: their face."

"If video games actually influenced behaviour you'd see a lot more people accidentally jumping in the air when they try to open doors."

"What do you give to an elephant with diarrhea? Plenty of room."

"Someone asked me why my name isn't on the cover of my book. I explained that it's a practice of humility. ""Ahh, so why then is your name on the title page?"" ""I'm not that humble!"""

"A tiger got his tail caught in a lawn mower... He looked at it and said, ""It won't be long now...."""

"Finally an international statesman supports Prism ....Kim Jong Un says it's a great idea."

"What do a pedophile and a Pokemon master have in common? They both have a collection of CP"