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Joke of the Day

"What did the dwarf say to the drunk prostitute?. High hoe, high hoe..."

"I would like to think money won't change me, but I won $5 on a scratch-off lottery ticket and immediately bought name brand aluminum foil."

"Q: Which is easier for a man to leave: the women or the Wine? A: It depends on the age."

"Are all females on twitter moms? Is my mom here? Mom? You there doin drunk tweets?"

"How are Oklahoma 3.2 beers like sex in a canoe? They're both fucking close to water."

"A slutty egg walks into a bar. Everyone starts laughing at her. ""I don't get it. What's so funny?"" she demands. The bartender says, ""Well, the yoke's on you."""

"An impressed man and his friend. Man: ""'Wow, you're omniscient!"" Friend: ""What does that mean?"" Man: ""Nevermind."""

"How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb? Only one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out."

"CRUEL JOKE What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer."

"[sifting through mail] baby shower invitation? Haha, um no thanks, Linda. I have a regular size shower that I can use whenever I want"