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Joke of the Day

"The wedding card selection at this store blows. Lots of ""Congrats"" and ""Best wishes"" but no ""I still question your sexuality"" anywhere."

"What's Spider-Mans favorite online music app? Spotafly."

"So my buddy was going down... On his grandmother, and he told me he realized he was tasting horse semen... That's when he thought. ""I wonder if that's what killed her or not? """

"My favourite joke when I was 9. ""Doctor, doctor, I feel like a row of theatres"" ""Did it happen suddenly?"" ""No, it came on in stages"""

"BREAKING NEWS: California's drought is over Water supply flourishing from the tears of the racist, homophobic, and conservative southerners."

"How many South Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A Brazilian."

"""Give it to me,"" my girlfriend yelled. ""I'm so fucking wet, give it to me now!"" She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella"

"what type of dog do you see at the zoo? a shitzu"

"I was listening to my wife argue with our 5 y/o. I didn't want to tell her he was right so karate chopped the TV to create a diversion."

"Godzilla, Mothra, and Battra all walk into a bar... The building owner must now pay $100,000 due to property damage."