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Joke of the Day

"I was listening to my wife argue with our 5 y/o. I didn't want to tell her he was right so karate chopped the TV to create a diversion."

"Fox News: Trump looks strong! CNN: Hillary should get the win! MSNBC: If you put a buncha hot dogs in a hamburger bun, is that a sandwich???"

"I ate some bad Greek food now I falafel."

"Today, I cleaned the house. It was awesome. My favorite part was finding things I didn't remember having. Like where'd these kids come from?"

"*shows up at ur door holding a bouquet of flowers with all the petals ripped off* hi, i brought u som flowers that told me u love me"

"Here's an olive branch. Please choke on it."

"What do we want?! LOW FLYING AIRPLANES! When do we want them?! NEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!"

"IDEA: Cry HoleTM - the hole you can cry in"

"My ex-girlfriend is like a chocolate She killed my dog"

"Why did the viper viper nose ? Because the adder adder hankerchief !"