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Joke of the Day

"I just invented a new word: plagiarism"

"A debator turned politician ordered everyone with beards to go home and come back the next day. He wanted them touche-v it."

"How to find the perfect wife: Play monopoly with her. if she chooses the iron, she's the one."

"What do you call a cow who just gave birth? De-calfinated."

"Dolphins are just Sharks who watch Glee."

"what kind of clothes do lawyers wear? Lawsuits."

"Boss: You're late Me: Sorry, my clock was set to Australian time Boss: That would make today Saturday Me: You're right. I'll go home"

"What's the cutest part of a house? The awning. I know, I'm sorry."

"Not all men just want a relationship for sex. Some want their ironing done too."

"Prisoner:*strapped into chair* Flip the switch & fry me. Guard: Oh, we're not electrocuting you... *college kid w/ acoustic guitar walks in*"