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Joke of the Day

"A pop star who summons ghosts, AKA... Seance"

"How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but it takes eight million years."

"Why did the redneck high school cancel driver's ed class? They needed the car for sex ed."

"Kid wants to sit at table, isn't tall enough Me: WHERE ARE ALL THE PHONEBOOKS?! Him: U threw them out saying, who the hell uses phone books?"

"They are making gluten free communion wafers now. I guess you eat them because they represent the beach-body of Christ."

"I'm only friends with people who are taller than me, just in case of thunderstorms."

"My microwave broke. So, we're finding innovative alternatives. Did y'all know the surface on top of the oven heats up, too? Honest to God."

"[quickly jumps into the back of a cab] ME: How far will this get me? *i hand the driver 14 peanut m&ms with the chocolate sucked off*"

"Did you hear the one about the gay cleptomaniac magician? He disappeared with a poof."

"Press 1 for English Press 2 For Spanish Press 1 or 2 for Indian"