189033

Joke of the Day

"Where others used to bloat facial features or apply some filters to make someone look ugly. I could proudly boast #NoFilter"

"Ever been in the shower, already late, when you feel that colorectal peristaltic action and think ""Damnit, I don't have time for this shit!"""

"*stationary for 7 hours* Me: ""Actually, I'm not sure this is one of those driverless cars."""

"What do you get when you're outside too long on a cold night? (OC) Arcdick"

"I hear they designed the newest iPhone to fit perfectly in your hand, right where your money used to be."

"Bet you can't guess my favorite hue Hue Jackman"

"What did the French biologist say to visitors entering the corn maze Enjoy Zea maize!"

"A man's wife gets angry about him switching to bitcoins He says ""Why don't you switch to bitchcoins?"""

"Bernie Sanders may be old, but he loves modern technologies such as. . . Socialist Media."

"Scientists have found the cause of paedophilia. Sexy children."